how u guys doing...im look like a wreck hahaha...was on long day yesterday...had to go to work wearing glasses coz my eyes were all puffy haha...pple were asking if im fine and telling me to use cucumber or teabags as they tot i've not enuff sleep hehehe...nobody knows wats going on...except for dat someone...
im so overwhelmed with emotions...feel so sad...feel so disappointed...feel so alone and lonely... felt like dat someone dont understand how i feel and was juz thinking of his own feelings only... sigh....trying to avoid it but the truth is inevitable...its there...right in front of me...all i have to do is face it with courage and strong will...d decision is already made but when will it be official?? i dont know...very soon...both of us can feel it...nothing feels d same anymore...we just act as if nothing is going on....but its coming...coming oh so very soon....
Posted by feline at 11:50 pm
My mum, she's my friend, my confidante, my advisor, she cooks the best food in the world, the one whom i gossip with, the one who goes shopping with me, she is at the top of my priorities, the one whom i cant live without, the one who i sometimes take for granted, she is always there for me and yet, im not always there for her, the one whom i listen to, the one who understand how i feel inside out and can read my mind, the one who tell the truth flatly and though i sometimes cant take the truth that comes out from her, i know she's right...
She wants me to come home, come home for good....she misses me...i miss her too...she hasnt been feeling too well and keeps wishing that im there whenever she doesnt feel good...i cried when i heard that...she cried too...we r two softies u see...but she's definitely stronger than me, stronger n firmer tham me...
She feels what im going through...she wants me to be happy and yet to be realistic as well with my current situation...and hard as it seems to accept reality, i know she's right...she tells me to be strong and hold on to my faith....to keep praying...she knows i'll make it through...she knows its hard for me...to let go of something that i've grown to love so much over these few months...
It's so hard dear mum...and so painful....to let go....wish u r here to comfort me, to hold me...
Thank you for believing in me & for trusting me...dun b sad for me...
Sigh...what should i do dear God...please show me some signs....
Posted by feline at 10:08 pm
sigh, sigh....feel like shit...feel like crap...so depressing....so lonely....so sad....my heart felt so heavy...feel like crying....but i muz not...muz not let dat someone see me crying...a tear or two did fell down but i brushed them away....so many thoughts going on in my mind....heart n head felt so heavy....feel worse in this depressing weather...having dat someone ard makes it worse... y is reality so difficult...y arent fairytales ever true....u r so near and yet so far...u r the one i truly believe will make me happy forever but yet i cant have you...only for now maybe but not forever...i never wanna change u in any way but will u change for me juz for dat...will u sacrifice for me juz for dat ?? will u?? i dun tink so....so sad....i better stop now....i feel damn shitty now....
Posted by feline at 7:26 pm
Sigh...juz read wong's latest post on her blog n here i am, missing jo, tini n aidah again....felt so empty when i came back from d airport yesterday n seeing an empty spot where aidah's luggage was...slept late as well...coz i was alone again and trying to get used to not seeing aidah sleeping on d mattress on the floor again... :( ...then i browse through d pics that we all took together while they were here...felt like those times back in singapore....posing here n there, and jumping up n down....trying to look crazy or scared or cool or cute in pics...in the midst of all the laughter, tears and "naik angin" hehehehe....miss u guys.....
...in Amsterdam...
...in Isle of Wight
Thank you guys for such great times and hopefully many many more to come...love you guys
P.S. Some photos courtesy of Jo n Wong :)
CIAO!!
anyway...went out to natural history museum yesterday and then back to lillywhites again for last minute shopping hehehe....both wong n me decided to make their last evening in london a night to remember and thus, decided to catch a play, a musical....we chose "we will rock you" whereby the storyline is set in a futuristic world where rock music is banned and only can hear and produce commercialised music....n they incorporated Queen's songs into the musical...i really hope they will like it...and yes, they really liked it....esp Jo....he was clapping and swaying and cheering...hehehe...it was his first time....dat someone was so amused to see him...even we were swaying away together wif them to Queen's songs...u cant help it...hehehehe....And dats it...their holiday is over....have a safe journey back home guys...its been great having u guys here...will miss you!!P.S. Next trip...ROME!!CIAO!!
Posted by feline at 3:45 pm
Pictures from Needles' Point....so windy and a bit of on n off drizzle...aidah n tini only climbed 3/4way while the rest of us went up all the way and it was damn worth it...beautiful scenery, so pure and peaceful that cant ever be polluted by the crazy commercialized world hehehe...all bad memories gone....all stress gone....juz take in the smell of grass and flowers and sea and feel the touch of the wind n rain on ur skin...sigh....the wonder of the world....
P.S. Bodyache after climbing so much....bad...so unhealthy....hahaha
CIAO!!
Isle of Wight...so lovely....lovely houses with loads and loads of wonderful plains and meadows... n cows n sheeps n horses....sigh....and of coz beautiful cliffs....we climbed one of them despite d damn strong gusts of wind heehee...next post....
CIAO!!
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